The Tractor Ride

That Marcy, she sent out a quilter’s email (sort of like a meme in the blog world) and wouldn’t you know there was a question where I had to tell a story. The question was simple enough. “Can you drive a farm tractor?” My answer, of course, not so simple…

I’m a farm girl, kinda. I grew up on a real, live farm with cows, chickens, pigs, geese, horses, sheep, and all other assorted critters who called our corner of the world home. We won’t get into the critters that my father paid to work on the farm. Suffice it to say that often the four legged kind smelled better and were smarter than the two legged kind. My father has the patience of Job (and a complete lack of olfactory nerves).

Anyway, I feel I can only kinda claim the farm girl title because really, I was let off the hook of most farm-related chores. Yes, I had to gather the eggs when I couldn’t sucker my little brother into doing it for me, but there were no early morning feedings or nights spent in the barn helping some critter bring a litter into the world. I didn’t spend days hauling hay because generally I was off at some nerd camp taking logic classes. I guess I don’t feel that I earned my overalls (although I occasionally still wear a pair of my grandfather’s worn out overalls).

One job that I did occasionally tackle though was mowing the yard. Now, let me explain that at the time, we didn’t mess around with a “lawn tractor.” We used the real deal, albeit a small tractor, a real tractor nonetheless. I thought this was a great way to get a tan (a sunburn really) and spend hours just sitting and thinking, one of my favorite pastimes. Our yard (field) is pretty flat and easy to cover, except for the front lawn. Two large trees offer shade and a bit of a challenge to the lawn mowing project.

But you know I love a challenge.

So I’m be-bopping along (as much as you can be-bop on a tractor) and I come to the area underneath the trees. No problemo, think I. I’ll just bend over really close to the steering wheel and pass right underneath the lower branches here. Just like riding a horse. No problemo.

I know when I think there isn’t a problem, there usually is a problem.

I’m feeling quite proud of my tractor-driving abilities as I scoot under the branch and start to sit up to make sure I don’t get any funny tan lines. And then I notice that my posture is improving with every move forward.

While my face managed to avoid hitting the tree branch, my ponytail wasn’t so lucky. I was caught and slowly being pulled backwards, conveniently right over the mower. You know, the part with the blades. I pulled, I yanked, I screamed, but that ponytail was stuck. Just as I’m starting to stand up with one foot on the seat, I managed to get the holder free and break from the tree, leaving a rather large hunk of my curls behind.

So while technically I could probably jump on the nearest John Deere and mosey up the road, we’d all be in danger from such a maneuver. Best to stick to morning traffic in my Saturn with a nice latte in one hand and the other ready to flip off anyone who dares cut me off on the 290.

Leslie the Academic Rock Star’s Spring Tour: Show 1

Before you get too carried away with the Rock Star title and start asking for my autograph, let me assure you that it’s just dreaming. I’m still a lowly grad student who is paying to attend two conferences in as many weekends, yammering about sections of her dissertation and just hoping that she (a) gets a question and (b) can answer that question. In the first round, I headed to Florida. I had visions of escaping the real work to hit an outdoor café to enjoy some time in warm weather, but really, I was lucky to get a mediocre latte in the hotel and scrub the dirt off a table by the pool. Oh well, at least there was a pool.



As far as business goes, the paper was read. There was discussion. I wasn’t laughed at or given a book contract on the spot. Eh. It was a conference.

However, there were some bright spots to my travels. Despite my lack of posting to the 20 Things list, I have been thinking of them. They’re posted on the fridge and give me a chuckle when I think about wearing a two-piece in public. Yeah, not gonna happen. But besides comic value, they are a good reminder of things I want and need to do in the next few months. One of those goals was to attend a conference and do the networking, participation scene rather than hiding in the hotel room with knitting and Law & Order. Well, give me a checkmark. I was engaged. I asked questions. I got business cards. I even had a moment where I wished I had business cards. Of course those cards would have to be little slips of paper that I cut out after hand-writing “grad student in need of tenure-track job” under my name, but they’d still be cool to give out. I exchanged resources and discussed job market tips. I heard about how to publish and how to pursue teaching jobs. All in all, I did it. I was right there in the thick of things and actually enjoyed it.

Maybe I’m an academic after all.

I’m not sure if this is a good thing to admit on a knitting blog, but in four days, this was all that I accomplished. Yes, I started a new project but I needed to meet all the requirements of airline security (bamboo needles) and Leslie’s travel knitting philosophy (small, portable, not requiring a fully-functioning brain, able to fit into a Ziploc bag, not completely destroyed by inevitable latte drips that seem to defeat said Ziploc bag). It’s version 2.0 of the lacy openwork scarf in alpaca. (Faithful readers will remember version 1.0 which currently resides in England after the International Scarf Exchange.) There will be full project coverage once I finish the post-travel re-entry routine around here. Basically, I need to wash underwear and write a paper for Rock Star Tour: Part 2.

Yes, I'm using Tristram Shandy and a book of criticism to stretch out my lace knitting for the picture. This whole academic thing may be going a wee bit too far.

Spring Break Adios

*Sigh*

Do I really have to go back to the real world tomorrow? Can we just stay on spring break until, say, summer?

Granted, I didn't really do anything spring break-y, no beach, no late nights at the bar, no travels, no all day in bed even. I wrote. I read. It was good.

I did get some new toys. The postman was very, very good to me over spring break, even if the pesky credit card companies actually want me to pay for my presents.

I feel like a real knitter now... my very own swift and ball winder. The swift is off ebay and I really like it. It was considerably cheaper than the large umbrella ones and I had a PayPal balance from the Fun Fur I eliminated from the stash. (Yes, I had Fun Fur, don't ask.) So far, I've managed to tear apart the ugly sock, although it made an ugly little yarn cake. I can't believe I actually have to practice using a ball winder. The black alpaca laceweight turned out nicely and wow, so much easier than doing it by hand.

I've resisted the urge to get out all my stash and wind, wind, wind.

Got Color?

I was looking at a stack of my knitting projects this morning and I think I may need to inject a little color. Perhaps the bleak days of Buffalo winter have gotten to me.

On my off-white couch which sits against an off-white wall and under a light tan piece of tin ceiling, I have two sweaters to be repaired, one beige and one cream. I also have the beginning of the Lara sweater (in ivory) that made it around the blogworld a few years ago and the winter sock pattern (in natural) at the beginning of the Magic Loop book.

And yes, my favorite ice cream is vanilla.

When I moved into this apartment, my landlord was planning to paint most of the rooms. (She really wanted me as a tenant, even called me after I looked at the place to offer to redo the ceilings in one room and strip ugly wallpaper in another. Sometimes living in a renters' market is pretty sweet.) She asked me if I wanted to choose any colors. "Off-white is nice. It's simple. I like simple."

I was as shocked as anyone to hear that line. My last apartment was all about color. I had a bright red dining room, a navy blue office, olive entryway. Every square inch was decorated and planned out. It was gorgeous, if I can brag a little, but time consuming. Things had to be dusted and I had a different look for each season. Displays had to be changed, pottery re-arranged, chandeliers washed once a month (yes, in Buffalo every apartment has chandeliers). Friends would tell me that it was like visiting a real home, for grown-ups. The problem is that life for grown-ups is complicated and hard. When I moved here a year ago I wanted life to be simple, focused, maybe even a little easy. So rather than sewing new slipcovers for my mismatched sofas (I'm not that much of a grown-up that I can buy real furniture), I ordered some cheap-o off-white puppies and called it a day. Granted, I still have TMS* syndrome and I'm slowly re-decorating as I unpack boxes of goodies (yes, I'm still unpacking after a year), but I still retreat to clean neutral colors when I get a little overwhelmed.

Don't worry, Buffalonians, I won't get into The Woman in White territory or anything.

For all our outside readers, there's this slightly crazy lady about town who dresses from head to toe in white. White clothes, white trash bags covering her shoes, some large white hat which resembles a meringue. The thing is, she looks spotless. No off-white about this chic, she's the real deal. And she walks the streets of Buffalo. It really must be magic. But some days she has this white bundle which she carries like a baby. That's when she's more sad than scary.

So don't be alarmed. I'll be sure to dig in the stash for some bright pink yarn just to make sure I'm not heading completely off the deep end. (Did you notice that I said I'd look in the stash for yarn rather than heading to the store to buy some?)

*Too Much Shit Syndrome. It's both genetic and contagious. Consider yourself warned. Spend any time with me or my family and you'll end up hoarding craft supplies, sweaters from ten years ago, and furniture of all shapes and sizes. I could invite every single friend over and offer every person his or her own end table for cocktail storage. Come to Leslie's and you not only get your own coaster, but your own table to sit it on. You can't walk through her apartment, but you can rest your glass in style. TMS... it's not a good thing.

On a happy note, I've made peace with my new espresso machine and we're frothing like crazy now. I can stay in my off-white apartment and drink from my brown coffee mug. Maybe tonight I'll bust out those pink cocktails again, just to be festive.

Knitting Olympics: Lessons Learned

… Or, there’s more to socks than heels and toes?

[Warning: This is on the wordy side. Sorry, pics and less navel gazing to come in tomorrow’s post.]

While I find it a bit strange to was poetically about knitting socks, I wanted to post a sort of summation of my lessons of late. On the one hand, I know that knitting is really just sticks, string and a good way to waste time. I’m a bit skeptical of the knitting as metaphor for life kind of thinking, but at the same time, it does make some sense. When I think about that other hand, the one struggling with doing a yarn over correctly or choosing the right set of sticks and string, knitting is something that I do. I invest my thought, time, and money into my hobby. I work at improving. I connect with others to help them improve or learn from their skills. It’s a social endeavor, sometimes the center of a social gathering, sometimes more of a backdrop to conversation and time with friends. And sometimes it teaches me a thing or two about myself.

I entered the Knitting Olympics because I wanted the deadline, the restricted time where I had to work on something that I set up as a personal challenge. And then, hey, I entered because I’m a joiner and wanted to be a part of the whole international phenomenon idea. While I try to pride myself on being independent (which is really just code for “I try not to care that I’m dorky and a bit off”), in reality, I often succumb to the idea that if everybody else is doing it, I should too. Yes, I’ll take that leap off the bridge and meet you at the bottom.

Anyway, I set out to learn socks. I contacted a fellow knit-blogger/grad student who seemed maybe even slightly more insane than I am. That Lone-Knitter… she teaches like 8 gazillion students, works 20 jobs and still has time for knitting… oh, and a writing career. Can you tell I’m impressed? So really, I thought my lessons were going to be about heels and toes.

But that’s not all. Like most of the other Knitting Olympians who have posted about their experience, I learned how hard it is for me to be monogamous. Don’t laugh, you’re all as bad as I am. I know how many corn dog boxes containing unfinished quilts reside in various homes in the Midwest. I found that confining myself to one project and one project only kept me more organized and actually made me more productive during my knitting time. No searching for the yarn, the pattern, or the needles that I had magically misplaced or put into another project. There was a goal, a deadline, and a public forum where I had to confess my wandering eye (and hands) or inability to whip out a project for my mother. (I added that “for my mother” part just to up the guilt factor in case I felt like giving up. Can you really abandon a project for the woman who carted your lazy behind to umpteen million French horn lessons, softball games and even a math contest or two? (Yes, I did math contests on Saturday mornings in high school. Laugh and you’ll never see a pair of socks knitted for you.))

I kind of expected to learn these lessons. Finish one thing before you start something else. Been there, heard it before, and promptly forgot it.

What I didn’t expect what just how wily my own lack of dedication can be. Did you catch that post about Sock Experiment A and B and C ad infinitum? Um, hello, with only one sock down, Super Girl here decides she should undertake a sock knitting master class the likes of which Sock Queen Nancy Bush would struggle with. I started innocently enough. If I complete my first sock in a weekend, and the Knitting Olympics involve three weekends, then there should be plenty of time to actually produce three socks, maybe even four if you factor in the midweek knitting. So despite knowing that in reality, a pair of socks in 16 days was a challenge of its own, I wanted to make it harder, to see what kind of knitter I really was. All in the name of a perfect pair of socks.

And you think I only do this with knitting? Let’s just look at the evidence. Getting a PhD? Hard. Getting a PhD while adjuncting at two other schools, editing someone else’s book, taking three simultaneous classes at the yarn shop, trying to run a first 5k, moving approximately 34 times, searching for the perfect boy amidst 8753 bad dates, deciding I needed to cook more, and every so often mopping the kitchen floor? Harder. I have this little disease, you may have heard of it, perfectionism, otherwise known as over-achiever-itis. It all sounds so innocent, until you wind up losing two weeks of your life and waking up with some really stinky laundry that needs to be dealt with… immediately.

And the kicker, I usually wind up doing pretty shoddy work on that whole list of tasks.

The thing I learned though is just how easily I get myself into these boondoggles. It was just going to be one extra sock, just to check out a different heel. I had good reasons and the whole idea seemed plausible. But that’s the thing with bad habits, even really destructive ones start out very small and possibly even innocent.

In the end, I only knit two socks. The second one had a tighter gauge overall so I’m hoping my mom has one skinny foot and one plump foot. The heels aren’t very good and I wish the cuffs were longer. But most importantly, they’re finished. I tamed the perfectionist beast long enough to finish a project.

So, translating knitting lesson into life lesson… be less of a perfectionist. Just throw out any ol’ diss and be done, right? Well, see, this is what I’m struggling to learn. I’ve given up on the diss being perfect. It stinks right now and it’ll stink when I turn it in. The problem is that I’m trying to be perfect everywhere else. I’m this close to signing up to work with a trainer at the gym who wants to put together a team for a half-marathon in October. Work projects are bringing me into the office on days when I’m supposed to be writing. I often feel like I’m a garter stitch dishcloth knitting newbie when I look around the blogworld and see all these amazing things that I’m not knitting. (Not to rag on the dishcloths, because really, that’s where it’s really at… get it, “rag”? ba dump bump) The point is that I have a really hard time just saying no to the over-achiever urge, even when I know it’s just going to bite me in the ass (which is way too big to even consider a fourth of a marathon, let alone half of one).

“Good enough” are hard words to swallow, especially when that means that I’ll just be good enough to not get fired, I’ll just be good enough so that the health department won’t condemn my messy apartment, I’ll just be good enough to knit at the rate of one project per year, I’ll just be good enough to not fall off the treadmill while I’m walking at a ho-hum pace, and I’ll be just good enough to resist my over achiever habits as much as I can.

Stress Amnesia... Not All It's Cracked Up To Be

In high school, my friend Tara and I took turns taping Days of Our Lives. We generally only watched two or three episodes each week, but we got enough in to know who was sleeping with whom, which illegitimate children had been identified, and who had been written out of the will. Inevitably, every few months some beautiful girl blinked her eyes open in the hospital and tearfully sighed, "Who am I? How did I get here?" The handsome doctor at her bedside would reply, "I don't know but I'll stay right here until we find out." If she was lucky, she was claimed as the daughter of the town tycoon and was immediately transferred to a private hospital room set up in the family mansion. If she wasn't, she ended up in jail after the hot cop puts it together that this beauty is really the serial killer who has been on a spree in three neighboring states.

So I'm here rubbing the crap out of my eyes and trying to remember what the hell happened the past two weeks. Since I look too much like my parents to have actually descended from a bazillionaire from Buffalo, I really hope I didn't do anything too nasty during those missing days. And anyway, where's the hot doctor that's supposed to help me figure all this out?*

Based on the stack of papers on my desk, here's what I think I've been doing. Seems my students are reading Tristram Shandy at the moment and not doing so well. I've printed out pages from Cliff's Notes so I don't think I'm doing too well with it either. I have a sneakin' suspicion that they're working on a midterm that's going to be a real bear to grade. Wish I knew what moron decided to assign a take-home essay exam. There are some emails suggesting that I've been proofreading final copy of a newsletter that needed to be at the printers about a month ago. It's rather alarming that they let me make decisions about comma placement in an altered mental state. I'm also finding evidence of at least two conference papers that may match up with two travel reservations. It kind of makes me laugh to think that I'll be doing two conferences in two weekends, while grading those essay exams and explaining how Locke's concepts of time and duration apply to Tristram Shandy. Yeah, kind of makes me laugh... when it doesn't make me cry...

So, based on my highly scientific investigation, I think I've been too darn busy to breathe. No wonder I have a bit of a stress hangover at the moment. I think this little stress bender has been a nasty one.

But, there are two little words that are currently making it all better... SPRING BREAK. Five whole days with no lines at Starbucks, no jabbering of undergrads in the library, no lectures to give or papers to grade. Five whole days stuck in my cage at the library... ahh, does life get any better than this?

Yes, I'm being serious. That's how pathetic I really am. (See the matching SPRING BREAK avatar? Yep, Leslie the hipster library chic...)

But, since I'm resurfacing into the land of the living, I should post about knitting. Now, I know you're probably shaking your finger and telling me that if I've been too busy to wash dishes for three weeks (unfortunately this is not an exageration... very, very gross), I've been too busy to bust out the yarn. This whole work before play thing is really over-rated. Knitting before washing dishes... always.

Pattern: Crazy Aunt Purl's Co-Worker Scarf
Yarn: Lion Brand Wool-Ease Chunky in Denim; 1 skein
Needles: 10 1/2 Clover Bamboo circs
Date Started: Sometime in the stress daze of February '06
Date Ended: 9 March 2006
Notes: I changed this up a bit due to the difference in yarn and needles. You know, you have to take into account the little things if you're going to be a real knitting pro. So I cast on 20 stitches rather than 16 and did 3 seed stitch stitches on the edges. The center pattern is pretty simple: YO, K2tog all the way across. I didn't even block this because can you really block 80% acrylic and I liked the look of it "as is" right off the needles. Phreny the Phrenology Head likes it too, although he doesn't get to keep it. And the yarn, hey, I'm a simple girl. I like my yarn snobbery, but sometimes you've just got to get down with the Lion Brand. Wool-Ease ain't so bad. The heathery colors are actually rather pretty and the overall feel isn't too plastic-y like some acrylics. A quick and dirty gift that only took a few episodes of CSI and used up some of the stash.**

So now that my former life is coming back to me, there's something bopping around in the ol' rusty brain about the Knitting Olympics and a need to post a wrap-up summary of all my lessons learned. Sounds an awful lot like an essay exam, but I guess that's what SPRING BREAK is for after all.

And as the say, like sands through the hourglass, so go the days of our lives...

*For those of you who are curious (mom), the handsome doctor in my life has been doing night shift rotations so I'm not counting on getting help with figuring out much of anything. There's a law that residents can only work 80 hours a week, which means the hospitals try to only schedule them for 100 hours. Our last hot date involved a 30 minute debate on who has put in more work hours recently. The winner got to pick the movie and the choice for take-out. He beat me by 4 hours so we got Chinese and fell asleep after the first 15 minutes of Zorro. They didn't have that kind of romance on Days of Our Lives.

**Yes, I said STASH...no purchases yet. If I snuck into a yarn shop while in my crazed state, I haven't yet found the receipts so I'm guessing I'm still safe. Marcy's Ides of March are fast approaching. Will I cave? Will I finish my conference papers and decide to celebrate? Only time will tell...

O Say Can You See...

...that gold medal that will be posted soon?

I finished the socks! I'm as shocked as you are. They're not perfect and they certainly are beginner socks, but they're wearable and mom will (hopefully) like them. If not, she can send them back and I'll wear them!

Olympics Socks
Pattern: a hodge-podge; I cast on 64 stitches and knit in 1x1 ribbing for about an inch, then switched to stockinette for about 6 total inches. I used this short row heel and then went back to stockinette. I used the toe in the basic sock pattern in Nancy Bush's Folk Socks book.
Yarn: Opal Rodeo; 1 skein with enough leftover to try another toe-up pair
Needles: Addi Turbos Size 1
Recipient: Mom
Date Started: 10 February 2006
Date Completed: 26 February 2006
Notes: I had a good time with these. I like them much more than the sock I completed in the class, but there are still problems. I don't like my gauge at the heel section, although the second sock is a huge improvement over the first. I think they are a bit on the short side but I don't know if I could wear them higher without adding a few stitches. My gauge is on the tight side and I think if I did 64 stitches in stockinette, they couldn't really go too much higher on my legs without being tight. I was shocked at how much yarn I have left. I think I want to try to do a pair of toe-up socks and knit until I run out of yarn. In my mind, it'll work out great if I buy another sock needle and start one from the inside of the skein, one from the outside and knit until they meet in the middle, sort of the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti effect. Now if the theory matches the reality...

I'd still like to reinforce some of the holes at the heel but I think this should also wait until after I finish another pair so I can use yarn from matching stripes.

Overall, I'm counting these as a success. I'm glad that I abandoned my plan to knit various socks in various patterns to see what my ideal pattern will be. (See tomorrow's post for more on this.) This is one pair down, many more to go on the sock knitting bandwagon.

And in true Olympic spirit, I hosted a knitting/game Olympics party on Friday. There was an M&M tribute to the rings. Wouldn't Martha be proud?

Still Knitting

Did you think I'd been axed by a Tonya Harding henchman determined to keep me out of the Knitting Olympics grand finale weekend?

Well, sort of, only my arch enemy doesn't wear sequins. It's been a week of diss writing, novel reading, paper grading and office working. I was a little worried when I signed up for this event that life might get in the way of finishing. I knew I'd start with needles blazing, but completion, that's where I get into trouble. And knitting two of something? That's just asking for it.

Then there's that whole monogamy problem. I told you I was a loose knitter and I didn't mean just gauge. Stick to one project for 16 days? Um, that's tough. So did I cheat? Does Hugh Hefner wear dressing gowns for a reason? I can justify it though! (And I'm sure he can too, but let's not go there... ewwww.) My fingers started hurting so I bumped up to a worsted weight project that's been lingering since last summer. I also was oh so close to finishing my Ribby Cardigan that I just had to give it some love. (There will be a finished object post as soon as I get time to have a photo shoot. Such the celebrity that I just don't have time to meet with the paparazzi... or maybe I just felt too silly to have the girls take my picture in the coffee shop at our last knitting night.)

Anyway, I do actually feel like I've learned more than just the magic loop in this challenge. I'm still mulling it all over for a better post, but sticking fairly close to one project has been a good lesson for this slowly reforming knitting hussey. (I know, I know, but I've been reading Pamela/Shamela/Anti-Pamela... hussies are something I seem to talk about with lots of regularity these days.)

Need proof? That, my dears, is yarn. Yarn that is leaving my house via the wonders of eBay, not yarn that is entering through the same evil, evil portal. I sold yarn. Shocking, yes?

So will I get my gold? It looks likely. I'm on the second half of the heel for the second sock. Barring severe finger injury, I should be able to finish this off this weekend. That is, unless I totally cave and cast on for something new!

Knitting Olympics Make It Big

So have you heard that we're mentioned in the latest edition of Time? Yep, get 4000 people together and you have a trend. Well, I'm not so sure being a "crochet collective" and "crafty couch potatoes" is really a good thing, but hey, no knitting pressies for you. So there...

Anyway, just wanted to report that to stave off any SSS (Second Sock Syndrome), I have managed to cast on the mate to the first item of footwear.

These will be fraternal twins with closely related stripes, but not identical. I'm only slightly type A but haven't completely entered ODC territory yet... yet.

Just wanted to prove that my plans to knit a complete pair of socks weren't a complete sham. Get it? As in, Shamela, the slightly naughtier younger sister of Pamela... Wouldn't want to falsely convince anyone of my virtue just to woo you into buying more yarn (mom).

Sometimes I worry myself with the literary jokes. Don't worry, I don't subject my students to these little nuggets of humor. I save them all for the three poor souls who are stuck reading the blog while at work. Next time, try soduko games, really. I'll just stick to socks and books.

Wearable? Froggable?

So there is a new sock in these parts and we haven't decided how we feel about each other.

The heel is still a touchy subject, but overall, it just may work. I'm also considering cutting the heel and unraveling to that point and inserting a peasant heel. It's kinda crazy, but I like living on the edge. Or mom may just get a baggy heel. She's my mom, she's gotta love me (and my sock knitting).

No new sock has been started due to knitter injury. Fingers. Sore. On the DL until at least tomorrow night. Considering sleeping with Ben-Gay on my hands. Even choosing dissertation reading over knitting tonight. See, that's proof of sore fingers.

Olympic Knitting, Day 2 Report

What's that old saying about pride coming before a fall? Anyone know any good sock patterns where you don't have to do any ribbing or heel shaping? As in, can I just knit a tube and stick it on my feet and call it good?

To recap, day one left our intrepid sock knitter pretty happy with finishing the leg of her sock. She had some concerns about the inch of ribbing at the top, but who sees the top of socks, right? If mom wears these suckers with shorts, she's got bigger fashion problems than my knitting deficiencies.

Basically, intrepid sock knitter was ignoring the problem since the inches below the cuff looked great and she didn't have the fortitude of Lone Knitter who has the sense to rip when the going isn't going so well.

Blissfully in denial, she pulled up her heel references and poured another of those slushy drinks and got busy with her short rows.

I know, that's a lot of sock knitting that's been done in two days. It's all a personal bribing strategy. "Grade one student paper and you can knit a row.... Okay, grade a paper and you can knit for 5 minutes... Okay, 15, but then you've got to read The Economy of Character." I'm weak, what can I say?

While speed of knitting has been strong here, technique is a little lacking. Just call me the Bode Miller of the knitting world. See the heel, the bulbous one that looks suspiciously like the bulbous toe of the previous sock flub? A minor gauge issue, I'd say... like a nice, even 8.5 stitch/inch on the foot and leg and a floppy, holey, inconsistent 6.5 - 7 stitch/inch on the heel. Ugh, not pretty.

I still like the look of the short-row heel (more store-bought, I suppose), but the difference in stitch definition and gauge is pretty bad. I think I have a defective purl stitch. Yikes! I'm hoping there's some sort of ointment or something for it.

To rip, or not to rip? That is the question.

I suppose I've already killed the suspense on that question by showing you how far I went past the heel. The late night verdict was to continue on, finish this sock and try a pinch-hitter sock in the middle of this pair. I suppose it's all that empiricism that I'm throwing at my students, but I've decided to make this the Grand Sock Experiment, complete with data collection, maybe even a graph or two. Exhibit A has great stitch definition in the round parts, but a defective purl-related heel/ribbing region. Exhibit B will focus on eliminating the heel problem with a return to the heel-flap method which minimizes the prominence of the purl. Exhibit C will hopefully be the mate to A or B, whichever one looks more wearable.

Or maybe I'll just go buy my mom a pair of tube socks and call it a day!

Sock Knitting... The New Paper Piecing*

In one of the lesser known Shakespeare plays, A Midsweater Night's Dream, the sage gives us all some advice, "Thou shalt not underestimate the power of a woman possessed."

Last night's knitting group had a few of these**:

Which led to one of these:

For those of you keeping track at home, that's peppermint twists + Olympics Day One = six inches of a sock. Well, maybe it's vodka + obsession = 2 a.m. crafting. It does sound much more civilized when it's about socializing over cocktails and not the frantic fingers of someone who can't seem to put down the sharp little needles. Really, I was feeling just ever so slightly like a crackhead when I finally made myself go to sleep rather than attempting to master the short-row heel with another batch of the slushy pink stuff. Like any good junkie would say, throw the needle(s) my way.

At least I can say so far, so good on the sock knitting. I don't like the top ribbing at all, but the thing seems to fit (of course I tried it on just before making myself give it (and myself) a rest). I think the next pair (which may actually become an addendum to the K.O. challenge if I continue at this pace) will have to find an alternative to the ribbing at the top. Perhaps if I do them toe-up the ribbing will be better if it starts from the stockinette section rather than the cast-on edge? So many experiments to be undertaken in the sock-knitting world...

But onward and upwards, or in this case, downwards and around...

THE HEEL

Not being a fan of the heel-flap method, I'm planning to forge into new territory with the short-row heel. In theory, it works like this:

Short-Row Heel Tutorial on Purlwise
Here it is in the toe-up method
And here it is in a slightly modified form

Now the question is, how will it work for me? And more importantly, can I restrain myself from the sock long enough to finish the last 60 pages of Pamela?

* In other moments of weakness (of which there are many in my crafty life), I've referred to Paper Piecing as The Craft Which Shall Not Be Named for its power to render me entirely insomniatic and close to heart attack peril with the thrill of projects to be completed. I really should seek help for these issues.

** Did you notice that my choice of stemware and drink match my knitting? Yeah, I'm classy like that...

And the Yarn Harlot Saith...

Let the games begin!

I probably shouldn't confess just how excited I am about the Knitting Olympics. Someone might just say "dorkily excited." Yes, I am celebrating as if this is a holiday of significant importance. I suppose I'm pretty comfortable with the "dork" label as I am working on a PhD in Victorian lit after all, but this may be reaching a new dork low. The date is marked on the calendar... yeah, that dorky. I haven't gone so far as to create Olympic-themed treats for knitting group tonight, but I would have had I not been busy doing all that cleaning and laundry and teaching business necessary to facilitate 16 days of actual sock knitting.

Anyway, since I'm sure you're all just dying to know as much about my sock knitting process as, say, the results of the luge, here begins the expenditure of excessive quantities of text about socks...


THE SUPPLIES

1 skein Opal Rodeo sock yarn
Addi Turbos 2.5 mm 40" (marked a US 1, but I think they may be between a 1 and 2)

THE CAST ON

I used a long-tail cast on and did 64 stitches over both needles to start. This little trick is supposed to keep the top edge loose but also even over your cast on.

Since I'm basically just throwing caution to the wind and cooking up my own pattern from the melange of resources in my knitting library and beyond, I'll try to keep track of all the details as they happen. Yes, it will be as stimulating as the ESPN coverage of the ice growing in Torino.

Lone Knitter, Here we go! May we be as productive as Dickens in our latest endeavor!

E-I-E-I-OOOO

Okay, kids, why exactly does Ronald McDonald have to wear those shoes?

The critics are still debating and I know the current theory is that he's stuffing the toes with an extra chicken nugget or two for safe keeping... or maybe it's the body parts of that filmmaker who blasted them with Super Size Me, but I've got the real answer. Just call this the Smoking Gun Knitting blog.

His father, Old Father MacDonald, actually was getting busy with one of the ducks down on the farm and little Ronnie's feet are flat, webbed and kinda wide in the toe/webbing region.

And just to show my support, I've knit him a sock.

This is my first foray into the sock knitting world, and you can easily see why I've not gone back until the Olympic challenge was issued. See the toe region, where one is supposed to decrease? My stitch numbers got smaller, but the sock got bigger.

Let's excuse the hideous choice of yarn color for a moment and just admit that this is pretty much agony of da' feet. (Sorry, just thought I'd use that pun and get it out of the way. You know you were waiting for it, Laurie.)

So before I attempt to redeem myself, I feel a little justification is in order. See, I was taking my sock knitting class with my ex's mother while we were in our wonderfully entertaining on again/off again phase. The weekend we worked on gauge went sorta like this:

Friday night: the hottie with the most amazingly soft J Crew t-shirt ever snuggled up to. Not so smart, but really, with a t-shirt like that stretched over muscles like that, he didn't need to be able to construct a complete sentence.
Saturday morning: "Leslie, you look sleepy." "Oh, I'm fine, I was studying late last night. Let's knit socks!"
Saturday afternoon: trompsing through the woods with the oh-so-sweet boy who designed and built his little log cabin in the middle of the nowhere, trying to convince myself that I liked him, even if he was too short and a horrible kisser
Sunday afternoon: coffee with the mysterious Romanian with wonderful stories of living in South Africa and a framed picture of W on the wall. (I hate it when the hotties are politically confused.)

So, see, it's no wonder I was a loose....

....knitter!!! *cough, cough*

But, alas, a new era has come upon my knitting life wherein dating has been replaced by dissertating. If reading about Victorians won't get you to tighten up that loose gauge, I don't know what will.

So, on to swatching with the real yarn. For attempt #2 I tried 60 stitches with only 2 rows of 1x1 ribbing at the top. Liking the yarn, not liking that ribbing. But, I have at least decided on a casting on plan.

Come Friday afternoon, this knitter will be casting on 64 stitches on addi Turbo size 2.5 mm 40" needles to do mistake rib for about an inch before settling into stockinette.

And for the literary types out there, catch the theory of the novel reference there? Swatch #1 was pictured with Ian Watt, 1957. Swatch #2 gets Michael McKeon, 1987. Betcha can't wait what theorist gets to be a shining star once I start the socks for real.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm....

Overheard while shopping:

"Oh my god! I thought he was going to pierce my nose with his teeth!"

Yeah, think about that one for a minute...

I almost turned around and told the chic that she should consider getting a new boyfriend but then I saw her and realized that she probably liked it.

If she tells those things in public for all to hear, I'd really hate to know what secrets she keeps to herself.

It's All in the Numbers

Shhh, don’t tell anybody, but this crafty business, it’s math, lots and lots of math.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that part of it. Makes me feel like the analytical part of my brain still exists even in a tiny, mutated form. But there’s also something that makes me feel like those of us spreading the crafty love are tricking people. “Here, pick out colors and move some pointy sticks around and woo-hoo, you’re making a scarf.” All the while we’re snickering in the background knowing that once we get ‘em hooked on scarf-making, we’re going to bring them into sweaters where they have to figure proportions or we’ll have them using protractors to do quilts. All a big pro-math conspiracy, I tell ya…

Anyway, I learned me some figurin’ yesterday. I had to run into the yarn shop and pick up a skein* because my previous figurin’ of the blue/grey yarn proportion on my Ribby Cardigan was a little skewed. Lots of blue for future felted bags, not enough grey for a collar. So while I was there getting dye-lot lucky** I got a handy dandy equation for picking up stitches to do button bands. The rest of the knitting universe probably knows it, but I’m going to write it down here so I remember it in the future.

stitch gauge*** / row gauge = picked up stitches / total rows

That’s clear as mud. Basically, here’s the deal. If you get 4 stitches to the inch horizontally and 6 rows to the inch vertically, you need to pick up 4 stitches for every 6 rows. Or, after that whole reducing the fraction magic, you pick up 2 stitches and skip a row 4/6 = 2/3. Believe it or not, it makes sense to me. And a knitting teacher I only claim to be after a few drinks. And so long as my students stick to scarves…

So, now that I’ve got button bands in the works, time to start training for those Olympics. I’m in the process of collecting my sock data, i.e. so much info on socks that my head is starting to spin. I’m going to do a blog entry in the next few days with all possible patterns and so on but for now, here’s the start of the process… the math. I have managed to actually knit a sock on double points before. It doesn’t really fit and doesn’t have a consistent gauge so I’m not sure it even counts though. Yes, I'll show pics. It's not pretty.

In the latest training endeavor, I’ve managed to come up with this.

I think this is a sign the Magic Loop method works, at least for now. I started to play with some Lion Brand Magic Stripes that I picked up on sale somewhere as “practice” yarn (don’t worry, before the yarn embargo started…). I started with the pattern on the label and it says to cast on 56 stitches. I’m getting a fairly consistent 8 stitches to the inch, so that’s a 7 inch circumference. Hmm, will that work? I’ve got numbers for average length of the foot, but don’t think I’ve come across any for average circumference.

I’m using Addi needles which seem to be somewhere between a 1 and a 2. I know the Opal yarn will be different, but I’m wondering about numbers for casting on. One pattern I have says to cast on 60, one says 64 and another gives 72, all for sock weight yarn. Ay yi yi, back to the math…

And noooo, I’m not knitting to avoid reading that page turner Ian Watt, not at all… I loooooove prepping for class.

*Yes, you read that correctly, I went into the yarn shop and bought one skein of yarn. It’s still within my rules since this is only yarn to finish a project. No other yarn was adopted by yours truly. Yes, it was difficult, but I restrained. Picture of strength, this girl.

**If they have the same dye lot 9 months after you buy your yarn, you’ve picked an unpopular color. I’m sure it’s the other people who have bad taste and can't recognize a great color, not me.

*** or whatever you call it, the usual gauge you measure, at least if you’re ambitious enough to measure your horizontal gauge but not the vertical gauge.

The Magic Disappearing Knitting

First you see it...

Then you don't.

A project started, an idea on the way to becoming reality, physical evidence of hours spent with the needles...

Then back to just some string with potential.

I'll leave the philosophical (i.e. kinda hokey) ponderings on knitting to others, but I did have to think about change and starting over today as I pulled out two projects that just weren't meant to be. There was the initial gasp of mourning over hours lost, but then the rational side kicked in and justified that I was instead saving hours in finishing projects that ultimately wouldn't be loved or used. That mohair wrap was just going to be butt ugly and the pink blob has always had a rather shaky existence. If anything, I should've known to frog these two long before I did. I guess sometimes it takes awhile to learn when it's time to call it quits.

Because every so often, the pieces do shape up and come together. This is when you know it's time to start the seaming.

Ribby Cardigan... blocking on a Sunday afternoon. Finished sweater coming soon.

And just in case you are a family member who is currently freaking out, no, I'm not quitting grad school or scrapping my dissertation. It's just knitting, no bigger metaphor, I promise.

Citius, Altius, Fortius

I've always kinda missed the trends. Cabbage Patch Kids... a few years late. Acid washed jeans... only after Ashley donated hers to the hand-me-down pile. The Knitting Olymics... took me a few days of pondering to sign up.

But c'mon, it's a frickin' phenomenon out there. At last count 1800+ knitters were planning to be "Faster, Higher, Stronger" for 16 days. And if 1800 knitters are doing it, you know I've got to too.
So on February 10th I will be joining the international movement of casting on a project to be completed before the 26th.

I know, I'm choking too at the thought of actually finishing a project.

I'm trying to convince myself that this will be easier than the finish line of the Turkey Trot since I get to sit on my ass for it, but right now, that finish line is pretty darn far away.

My event, you ask? Socks... for mom. See, not only do I have the pressure of finishing the Knitting Olympics but they're for my mother. I think if you don't finish projects for mom that's pretty much akin to signing yourself up for the 10th circle of hell. Of course, considering my rate of non-finishing for mom, I'm already down there at about the 3rd circle... me and my cross stitch carousel horse project.

But as all the training guides say, competing is mostly about mental preparation, knowing you will cross that finish line before you even start. So here's to positive thinking... and lots of coffee while I knit. Or maybe since I'm doing these the Magic Loop way, I'll magically finish? I'm reaching, I know. Andy, want to send some of that magic coffee for my training efforts?

I guess what got me to really be interested is the simple fact of numbers. It absolutely fascinates me that this incredibly talented and hilarious woman just over the river there in Toronto (The Yarn Harlot... for all you non-knitters, she's famous, a celebrity knitter... and her blog is generally the best thing I read every day... she could take on Dickens, really) can put out an idea and get thousands of people to do the same thing at the same time. Add that to the conscientious objectors, the declared "cheerleaders" who don't want to tackle a short-term project but support the idea, and you've got a huge population of people with pointy sticks thinking about the same idea. And of course don't forget the people designing buttons, planning parties for the Opening Ceremonies/Cast On, and creating Team groups... Talk about a "meme"...

The idea of the project is to choose a personal challenge and give it your best go. There are knitters out there doing insanely complex sweaters and lace projects... and then there are people doing simple garter stitch scarves. I suppose socks aren't really in the high end of the knitting world, but I haven't ever completed a pair and the single sock I've finished has a toe that's bigger than the foot so let's not consider that any previous experience. For me, it will simply be a challenge to get in any knitting time in February. Between teaching, prepping for the March conferences, working at engineering, and trying to write (and maybe socializing every now and then), I'm pretty much maxed out. So maybe I'll try and lecture while I knit. Or maybe I can stop doing laundry and cleaning to get in a few extra minutes. Oh wait, I do that now.

We do get to "train" before the event though with swatching so I'm also consider training to be getting my house and work in order to prepare for those ass-sitting hours. Best get to work!

Mom, the socks are coming!

I'm Gonna Wash that Stress...

Right outta my hair... Yeah, right!

I'm in the middle of teaching Robinson Crusoe and feeling a wee bit frantic, sorta as if I'm a lonely soul in the midst of a sea of chaos and the only boat of salvation within sight is full of dead people... dead English authors to be specific. It's a good thing I knit so I won't have to dress in goat skins. Although, considering the rate of my knitting, I'm not going to do so well with half a scarf produced every six months or so. Any cute goats out there?*

And shoot, just to make it exciting, let's throw in a publishing project due yesterday, a dissertation due years ago, and a weekend with two dates to keep it lively. No, I'm not going to tell you about the two dates so don't even ask, Mom.

But in the interest of keeping track of knitting I have actually completed, thought I'd share my attempt at an artsy shot. Can you do an artsy shot of kitchen cotton in garter stitch? We'll call it primitive artsy. Or maybe we'll just say it's my attempt to clean up my act... hardy har har.

Pattern: Grandmother's Favorite Dishcloth
Yarn: Sugar'n Cream Kitchen Cotton
Needles: Sz 8 straight aluminums
Recipients: The Girls - Group Gift!
Date Started: December 2005-January 2006
Notes: Does it get any more old school knittin' than this? As back to basics as they come. Not exactly yummy for the fingers, but functional and easy to do while watching movies on the couch. And besides, it used up my stash of kitchen cotton! One stash down, 482 to go.

*For those of you thinking back to our goat-related discussion at the last knitting night, um no, Mr. Crusoe only skinned 'em and wore 'em. The other stuff is in a whole other novel that I am not teaching to undergrads!

Scarf for You, Scarf for Me

Extra, Extra! Read all about it! Leslie finishes something in time to make a deadline! First 2 FOs of 2006 already off the needles!

My scarf for the International Scarf Exchange is finished on time! Even more shocking, it's actually been finished for awhile, but I've held onto it to take it to knitting night tonight. I'll be dropping this baby into the post on Monday. So if you're a knitter in England, be on the lookout for a little alpaca yummy.

Pattern: Knotted Openwork Scarf
Yarn: 2 skeins Superfine Alpaca, 2-ply fingering Fleece Meadow Farm
Needles: Size 6 bamboo dpns and Crystal Palace bamboo circs
Recipient: ISE Partner - to be revealed later
Date Started: approx. 15 December 2005
Date Completed: 5 January 2006
Notes: Do I really have to send it away? Scarf Pal, if you don't like it, send it back and I'll try again. This is a great stitch pattern, very simple to follow once you figure out that yf in Canadian = yo in 'Mercan. As Oscar Wilde says, "We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language." Hey, y'all, we try.

Anyway, I wanted to use alpaca because yummmmm and I wanted to use something "unique," or at least unusual so I decided to order from a local farm that I discovered at the East Aurora fiber festival. The 2-ply yarn was pleasant to work with although the plies separated while I was knitting so it was like I was working with the yarn doubled. You can also tell it was handspun because there were places where it went from thick to thin and back again. Personally, I loved this aspect of it, but it might not be the yarn for someone who wants every stitch to be the same as the one a few rows up. I thought about several more complex lace patterns but I was worried that they may not turn out even with this yarn. However, I've seen this yarn used in a large shawl done in a complex lace pattern though and never noticed the inconsistencies. Overall, I'm pleased with the outcome and hope this scarf keeps an English neck cozy.

Not too long into the knitting I decided to try the Crystal Palace needles and this helped immensely. My double points were a little too dull for this yarn. I'll certainly go for the pointier needles in any future lace knitting.

Now I just get to wait and hope she likes it!

*****
In other knitting news, I finished up a mystery project that was started about a year and a half ago. I'm still not sure what the final product will be, but the knitting is done at least. Right now I'm debating between a pillow and a felted bag. Suggestions? I'm taking a vote at tonight's knitting group.

Pattern: None, just cast on a bunch and knit in the round until you run out of yarn.
Yarn: Noro Oimochan, approx. 11 skeins of colors 1 & 3. Purchased at the Elmwood Yarn Shop's anniversary sale. I believe is discontinued yarn.

Needles: Plastic Sz 17 circs
Date Started: Oct 2004
Date Completed: 20 Jan 2006 - at least with the knitting
Recipient: Most likely me
Notes: I packed away some of my yarn stash because all those unfinished projects were stressing me out. Don't ask why, but all those skeins waiting to be wound and knit were too much to handle every day. Hey, we've all got our issues. So as I was filling up the plastic crates I came across this project and figured it would be a great one to knock off the list and since it was pretty much mindless, I could do it while watching old CSI episodes from Netflix. I planned to felt this and sew on a bottom from fabric and use it as a knitting bag, but it ended up bigger than anticipated. I kind of like the graphic look and am considering sewing it up as a pillow. I love all those floor pillow patterns out there but can't really bear the thought of spending $100+ on yarn that gets tossed on the floor and squished under someone's hiney, even if that hiney is my own. I'm a simple girl, really, and this hiney is just fine with plain ol' floor pillows. But, for this to reach its potential as a knitting bag, I've got to buy fabric and do a good deal of sewing, which won't be on the agenda until I get my machine up and running again.

Oh the dilemmas of crafting...

At least I get to be happy that two knitting projects have been checked off the list. Only about 2 million more to go!