03 September 2005

Appearing on a blog near you...

So, did y’all think I’d melted into a greasy little spot out there in Missouri?

It was a close call, but with the help of some retail therapy, fabric stash enhancement, and a dose or two of mom’s homemade ice cream, I made it.

So why the heck haven’t you updated your blog yet, missy?

Um, well… Let’s just say I’ve been writing OTHER THINGS. I don’t want to talk too much about that just in case I curse it. Look for a post on Tuesday about that. And before you think I’ve completely gone bonkers being afraid to talk about THAT THING THAT I’VE DEVOTED EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY TO, there are people that refuse to change their undies until they turn in a chapter. I’m not kidding. People just think us nerdy types are loners by nature. It’s really because most of us stink.

Ahem, but don’t you worry. I like hygiene. I shower at least once a day… with soap even.

Aside from showering and writing, the return to school has kept me just a tiny, teency bit busy. With fighting for a parking spot and all, I hardly have time to do anything fun. But I’m a determined gal, so I do my best to inject a little levity into my day. Why, even today, I’ve… um… well… I did some knitting before I sat down at the computer. I’ve managed to throw on two loads of laundry. Yeah, wow, I need to get out more.

Anyway, since this started out being a crafty blog, I’ll just update on my latest Martha endeavors and play like I’m hip, which I’m not, but at least I don’t stink… yet.

It will come as no surprise to any of you, but I’m pretty sure I have crafty ADD. Start a friendship quilt? Sure, I’m your gal. Start a new sweater? Absolutely! Start a scrapbook of my time in Buffalo just before I leave Buffalo? Got the supplies already in the stash! Finish a project? *GASP, CHOKE, SPUTTER*

Yeah, so finishing isn’t really my thing. I like that initial rush when the supplies are all neatly folded in the corn dog box, the pattern is free from highlighting and scribbles and I haven’t once said any bad words after screwing something up. This is probably a topic for some deep analysis and therapy, but shoot, what fun is that? And after all, writing about my little finishing issues is most likely a diversion from finishing THAT THING that’s lurking over there in the opened Word file, ready for more of my attention.

Instead, I present to you my top ten crafty projects list. I solemnly swear before my blog readers (well, reader… hi, mom), my desk mascot (Rodin’s The Thinker in high end plaster of paris*), and the holy of holies MY CRAFTY STASH, I will not start another project until these are finished. If I do, I will relinquish my favorite Addi Turbo knitting needles to the gods of slothdom and let their shiny silver points be used as chopsticks.

1. Super Secret Wedding Present #1: 10 more minutes on this sucker, but it’s been sitting in the project bag since I got back from Missouri. Must have completed and wrapped before leaving town Friday morning. The clock is ticking.

2. Super Secret Wedding Present #2: Adapted from Christmas presents from several years ago. Started at quilt camp. Sara and Scott will be celebrating their tenth anniversary before this one gets the checkmark. Must sew, sew, sew…

3. The Pink Blob: This is supposed to be a trendy cocoon-style bolero wrappy thingy. Right now it looks like it’s going to be big enough to wrap around a horse and it will most likely look as ridiculous on me as it would on Ruby or Easy. (Those are my mom’s horses for all you city slicker readers.) Must finish before the trend is dead.

4. Shelby’s Hat: Trying to re-create Elle’s hat from Legally Blonde. Found a pattern, have the yarn, delayed because I must crochet this sucker alone so I can count out loud. Don’t laugh. At least I don’t have to use my toes. That’s for the counting. But man, if I could use my toes to crochet… wow, the mind boggles at the super productivity that would allow. Something to consider…

5. Irish Hiking Set: Scarf, check. Fingerless mitts, not seamed. Hat, topless. So close, yet so far away. Must finish before I can begin hiking in Ireland. Or trekking to the library in a matching set of handknit, cabled coolness.

6. Ribbi Dibbi Cardi: Excuse no longer applicable. It’s not so hot that I’ll felt the wool with my own sweat if I knit on it. Get cracking before this becomes the summer sweater for 2006. If I’m not careful, Rachel will start this sucker four months after I do and be sporting hers before I’m even ready to start knitting the sleeves.

7. Vive le Bag: I’m thinking this babe has been cursed from the get-go. It took approximately 92 hours for the JoAnn’s workers to cut, price and sell my two yards of fusible fleece. The snails have invaded and taken over here. The cutie patootie poodle appliqués are awaiting their debut. Stupid little mutts are going to suffocate in the plastic packages before long…

8. Terrific Teal T: Round and round she goes, when she’ll be wearable, nobody knows.

9. Beaded Scarf: Set aside as my portable project but it rarely leaves the house. She’s getting to be quite the homebody. She’s got beads, people, she should be a dancing queen displaying all her finery.

10. Design Your Own Diva: Last spring I started a lace sweater that combined several patterns using my absolutely favorite yarn. Ended up being one of those “thinking” projects and as I try to avoid that whole brain thing as much as possible, it got shelved. Time to get out the calculator and give this challenge another go.

Whew, I’m ashamed to say that this isn’t even the entire list of my works in progress. I gots me some knittin’ to do!

No comments: