Like a Turtle

Lately, I’ve been feeling quite hen-pecked. Every time I walk into my office or open my email or answer the telephone, someone seems to be there, hand out, waiting for something I should’ve given them weeks ago. It’s not that I blame them, really, as I do honestly owe all these people all these things. Many of these things I actually want to provide, like gifts for people I care about or the fun treats I get to put in the mail this week as a thanks for stopping by my corner of the internet. Don’t let this secret get out, but I don’t even mind writing and completing work despite my never-ending complaints. It’s just all the asking for it, the reminders of things I haven’t accomplished, the little notices that oh yes, we caught you with your proverbial pants down and we know you’re behind on life and let this serve as an email of shame for your ineptitude.

(Dramatic much?)

Anyway, all that whining was just to say that I’ve been hiding from the world as much as possible, retreating like a turtle into a tiny corner of the couch where I can just knit in silence and pretend like I don’t have to deal with all these problems. Well, until the guilt kicks in and I run around trying to check things off the list.

Of course, checking things off the list means that new things are stealthily waiting, just anticipating their chance to jump back onto your list…

…which is why I’ve taken to sending emails very late at night, so there’s little chance to get an immediate reply that asks you to do it again or change this or take on some new project. It’s like a game, really. Hit the send button and turn the computer off really fast so for a few hours at least, you get to breathe easier, knowing that you’ve put something on someone else’s list and until they read it, you’re safe and free.

It’s also why I’m extraordinarily happy to visit the post office lately. When the cheerful postal worker calls me up to the register, she has no idea how much she really is helping me by taking the package or envelope out of my hands. Or why I almost let out a little cheer when I was able to drop off SIX very large shopping bags at Goodwill. Here, take a bit of guilt and oppression with my ugly sweater stash. No really, thank you. We probably shouldn’t get into the depraved thrill I get when I take out the trash and recycling. Every piece of paper that I can add to the pile is one less piece of paper for me to think about. And that is a very beautiful thing. Oh yes, garbage man, I did wink at you and thank my lucky stars for sanitation engineers everywhere.

Ahem, but back to that checking things off the list…

Wedding was in June…

Gift was mailed in October…

I know I read somewhere that you get a full year after the “I do’s” to get the gift to the newlyweds. Please don’t ask me to cite this as I’m a little put out on the whole footnote concept at the moment, but trust me, I get a year. And most of the time, I’m a gonna use all 365 days of that year before I stick a bow on anything. You can thank me for this knowledge later when you too need a year to complete a gift or even find the time to run by Williams Sonoma for a gift card.

Anyway, the details…

Pattern: Turning Twenty
Fabric: Flannel from JoAnn’s
Quilter: Terry M., I think

Now to make sure I don’t take a full year to send Christina her prize from the blog contest! Thanks to everyone for stopping by and leaving a comment. These are the emails that make me keep opening the account! Back to hiding on the couch. Don’t tell anyone that you saw me emerge.