06 August 2005

Kick Ass Friends

Kick ass friends are the kind of people who…

1. come over on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon to help you break into your own apartment when you’ve locked yourself out. They even bring their own ladder.

2. go for a joy ride to your ex’s parents’ home to deliver his junk. They even offer their own vehicle as a moving van.

3. tell you you’re drop dead gorgeous even when you’re knitting in your dirty sweatpants from softball practice. Then they pass the chip n’ dip.

4. give you new coffee mugs and fancy schmancy English tea as part of a “relaxation” birthday present. They know that you need the kind of mug that demands a two-handed-lift to support your habit of caffeine in the a.m. and caffeine + schnapps in the p.m.

5. surprise you with Lip Venom, sure to make everything you say (and all the kisses you give) much, much spicier. Angelina has nothing on you in this stuff. “Come here, Brad baby.”

6. join you on half-baked schemes to find love (and avoid toothless janitors) at the Grand Island Holiday Inn. They even help you run from the stalker farm boy.

7. text message completely inappropriate comments at just the right moment to make you blush and secretly be flattered.

8. tell you how to hide your self-help books behind the Derrida and Foucault. Then they add to your collection.

I love you guys. I’ve got me some kick ass peeps.

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